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[personal profile] hat_of_nikitich
I'mma have a long talk about ~feelings~, but I'll put that under the cut, so you can pass that maundering by.

BARNABY UPDATE: He is growing tail feathers rapidly! He's much better at not-falling-over and hunting bugs. His family is the neatest. I'd love to always have a crow family nearby. Barnaby lives in a neighbor's lilac bush when it rains, but there is almost always an adult crow in a tree nearby watching. It is super the cutest.

Right now? Thunderstorms. All week. Not enough to make up for the brutal fucking winter, Minnesota, but it's nice. Also, right now: Insomnia. All week. 90% of that is stress, due to uncertainty and the pre-emptive disaster hypothesizing that only a clinically anxious brain can come up with.

On that note, the job hunt progresses. I had three, count 'em, interviews with a major ISP in Denver. The third interview was with the top of the food chain, and pretty nerve wracking. Anyway, I'm supposed to hear by the end of the week one way or the other. No, it's fine, I'll just be chewing off my fingernails. No big.

A really nice friend that I used to play WoW with also got me an in with his company, who is looking for a sysadmin in San Francisco. That would be uh-mazing. I'm not especially sold on living in SF, but for a sysadmin position, I'd live just about anywhere.

I got back two rejections from other places, and then applied to six more. I have a solid dozen résumés out, now. So, y'know. It goes.

I am maximum burnt out. I'm anxious to stay on top of my own education, though, and I feel really uncomfortable and unhappy if I'm not learning or working on something. That could also be the effect of a really intense couple of years in school, too. Certifications took everything I have left, though. So when I do sit down to learn or tinker at something, I end up just staring blankly at my screen/book/whatever. My imagination is busy worrying about getting work/selling the house/moving/everything else. Do I keep at it, or just give myself a rest until I get work and can settle shit down?

Man, I feel too old to be finally starting a career I want. I had this freak out when I went back to school, too, so that'll pass. Another thing on a pile of things.

I think I need something small and effective to accomplish, while I wait for anything to happen. Right now I feel pretty powerless and stuck.

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