The Hat of Nikitich

I failed on updating!

Anyway. Cyber Aces was really great. It was intense, and difficult (it was a hands-on hacking simulation, and we could use the Internet and all, but apparently only 1.7% of professionals make it to level 4 in the contest. We just barely broke into level 3 by the time it was over), and there was a lot of BURNING HEART CONCENTRATION in the room, but man, I had so much funnnnn. I placed fifth in the state; I was two points from third place (and my very own shiny trophy) but alas. First and second place were only separated by three seconds! When they finally called time, everyone in the room simultaneously leaned back in their chairs and there was this big, collective sigh. It was like you could see the steam rising off everyone's heads! It really cemented my desire to A) compete again next year, and B) get a job as an ethical hacker.

(And yeah, I was the only woman in a room full of 25 dudes of various ages and experience levels, and that was kinda uncomfortable, but the women that were there as organizers for the event had formed a little cheering section for me. That was really cute and awesome.)

Plus, since the meet was in the Twin Cities, Gavin and I went down a day early, walked all over Minneapolis, and I got to visit a Lush store and eat amazing Thai food, so whee!

School continues to be breakneck madness. I am really stressed out and tired, but I should get a voucher for the first of my certification tests soon. That'll be one big worry shot down, if I manage to pass it. Gavin's work isn't helping anything, because they are run by total incompetents and in consequential financial trouble. Twice now, they've had to "delay" paychecks because there wasn't enough money in the bank. I feel like I can't graduate FAST enough, and there is this huge burden on me to pass certs and get a well-paying job as soon as I possibly can. I'm so tired of living on the papercut edge of iffy paychecks.

Thankfully, I have this Friday and weekend off. Some of the class are going down to the state Skills USA meet for networking and computer repair. I deigned not to compete in that, with Cyber Aces being such a big deal for me, so I get to stay home and sleep (been fighting insomnia all week). AND I get a haircut this weekend, something I really like.

Otherwise, I have been drawing a-plenty. It's the only thing that disconnects my brain from hacking and CISCO nonsense anymore. Driving looks like routing network traffic, playing video games reminds me of coding, &c. &c. I picked up a little program called Hexels Pro, and started messing with drawing in trixels, and it has clicked with me in an amazing way. It's been really comforting and uplifting to make stuff in it.

There's more, but I'm completely out of energy right now. Time to go read and pet a cat.

So, I think I've mentioned this Cyber Aces thing I did back in the fall: Learn about IT security in a cool way, take some tests, and compare scores with other folks in the state. I did well enough to go to the championships later this month (sdfkjsd;fs, still freaking out about that).

Today, I got an e-mail that they wanna interview me while I'm there for a media thing, and asked me to talk about how I got into it, &c. and interesting factoids about me, or whatever. It wasn't until I finished sending the e-mail that I was like: "WAIT. SHIT. DID I JUST AGREE TO TALK TO STRANGERS AND LET THEM QUOTE ME? THE WORLD IS GOING TO BURN DOWN."

Fuck. Shit. FUCK, YOU GUYS.

And this happens on the 15th this month. If you remember, please send me all your soothing juju (beans).

sjDkf;sdjkfhgejfIO:EIJgksl;lkdfj.

kfj.

For those of my class going after their CCNA certification this Spring, our instructor is teaching an extra class on Fridays (we usually run M-Th, about 8 hours a day). This is so we have more time with the material and can dig in a little deeper, and the folks not after the CCNA aren't inundated with stuff they don't want/need.

It is fucking saintly of my professor to do this. He doesn't get paid for it; he just wants us to succeed, and he knows the CCNA is tough. He drives an hour each way on his day off to help us with that. That I appreciate his effort doesn't even begin to cover it.

HOWEVER. When I heard we were getting another 15 inches of snow, and that our extra class was preemptively canceled tomorrow? I fuckin' leapt for joy.

I. Am. So. Tired. Of. CISCO. Tacking on another four-to-six hours with it on Fridays has been fucking exhausting. At this point, to speak of my brain being fried is to understate the obvious. When I am in the car, and Gavin is driving, sometimes I see traffic as a logical network topology, and I try to determine how to route it.

On top of this, we don't even have a lunch break on Tuesdays and Thursdays, anymore. We VOLUNTARILY gave them up to slot in studying for the Security+ cert, which a lot of us are also taking. In January I thought I might also try and pick up my Linux+ cert, but at this point it will be a fucking miracle if I come out the other end of May with my sanity.

I wouldn't trade the last two years for anything, but I am getting to that point where I'm ready to check out. Thankfully, Spring Break is on its way, and then I just have to survive the state championships, and then I can just focus on turning my brain into a certification.

Also, tomorrow is my birthday. Jeezum Crow.

This is mostly sad stuff, sorry about that.

( Read more... )

I just wanna say: I'm never happier than when I'm learning and making, but shit is exhausting. Simultaneously, I never want to stop.

Not quite, but almost.

I'm not dead, just stupid amounts of busy! The rest of my summer blew by at a ridiculous rate, and I did almost nothing I'd planned on! I knitted a lot, read a ton, and spent a lot of time messing with Kali Linux. I drew a lot, but it was almost all in notebooks or on napkins.

Gavin and I bought a new car, which was financially painful, but entirely necessary. Also, it is a really nice car, and it's wonderful to drive something that isn't threatening to fall apart. (It also gets three times the gas mileage.)

School started in September, and that's been my world since then. The more advanced classes this year are distinctly more advanced, and take up more of my attention and time than I'd expected. We just finished a class in Digital Forensics, which was a lot of mystery solving and retrieving information from dead or deleted harddrives/flash drives/network traces and so on. SO COOL. Now we're into Information Assurance, and one of our first homework assignments was to author our own piece of (innocuous) malware, which was really a lot of fun!

Simultaneously, we're working on CISCO's networking curriculum, and that's fun, too, but not like the security stuff is. We were told we'd really find out what it was we wanted to pursue as a career this semester, and that is certainly holding true for me. I'm really interested in cryptology and the cypherpunk movement, besides, but I don't know that I have the math background/ability required to really get into that. Although, I never figured I'd be able to do math in binary and hexadecimal, or subnet a network, either, but I do those better than I count in decimal now. So, who knows?

I'm also a lot closer to my classmates than I was last year, too. We all had a good time getting pretty tipsy while we were down at a tech trade show last month, and strange bonds were formed over drunk philosophical conversations. Isn't it odd how that works out? We all play D&D together on Thursdays after class now, and that's been hysterical. The big upshot of this is that it's really helped my anxiety immensely. Immersion therapy, I guess!

I finally went to a chiropractor about my knee (I've had a lot of trouble walking for the last few years on account of my knee spazzing out), and that was cool! I'd never been to a chiropractor before, and he was really kind and interested in teaching as he went along. I had my tibia and pelvis adjusted, which was unpleasant, but incredibly helpful. He had a suspicion that I might have a milk allergy, too, because of the inflammation problems and some other symptoms, so I went off dairy for a month and that was ... kind of a life-changer. I am, indeed, pretty dang allergic to milk. Like, not only did it eliminate my joint inflammation, but I lost a bunch of weight, and my acne and the chicken skin on my arms just up and disappeared. Weird, right? I gave up most meat a long time ago (I still eat fish and seafood sometimes), and now I can't eat dairy, so I figured I might as well pick up some vegan cookbooks and go that route. The Veganomicon has been a life-saver!

I'm gonna try and update here more often than twice a year, especially as Winter sets in. I get seasonal affective disorder pretty bad as the days get shorter, so journaling will be helpful. Also gonna try growing some fresh herbs and things indoors; tending plants always cheer me up immensely, and vegan cooking uses a lot of herbs and spices!

I've been knitting fiendishly, too. I'm trying to use up my stash of yarn entirely (I hate not using stuff, but I love having yarn -- problems), so I'll try to post pictures as I go!

Holy Glory. It's been, like, weeks! It's been insane.

My last class has been all study for our Windows Server administration/certification test. Tedious and unreal amounts of bleh. But early next week is the actual test, then a class LAN party (because omg YES after all that), then SUMMER.

Glorious, beautiful, time-to-smoke-cigars-and-reflect SUMMERTIME.

I will certainly be more talkative after that point! <3

That's me! It's been so busy, and when I have downtime I totally forget to post. But never mind that, let's talk STUFF.

The Good:

• I turned in my final for our SQL and PHP Programming class! That's been what most of my time has been devoted to the last few weeks. It came out well, and I learned a fuckton of stuff about MySQL, which no longer seems intimidating!
• It looks like I'm aimed right at another 4.0 GPA this year, just one class and a certification test left. I know it doesn't mean much in the long run, but I'm irrationally proud of myself for doing so well in college after so many years out of it.
• I'm feeling really healthy and well, even if I do keep forgetting to take my meds right away in the morning. (Boo!)
• The one other girl in my classes is dating one of the boys, and it is the cutest gosh darn thing.
• Purchased some sale yarn a little while back, and I've been knitting all kinds of swatches trying to find a pattern it looks good with. I was having zero luck, until I found this awesome shawl pattern a few days ago. EXCITING SHAWLS.

The Bad:

• Gavin is a worried about his job security. Someone at work let slip that things aren't going very well, financially, and his anxiety is almost all tied to money, so it's been very stressful for him. I try to help him with being present and acknowledging feelings without letting them be intrusive, but I also know what hard work that is. It's frustrating to not be able to offer much more than support and love, sometimes.
• Our car is rusting to biiiits. The front end is pulling to the right now, so the wheel's about ready to quit. We really, really need to finance a new car, which is never really very fun.

To Do:

• I have got to remember to call the employment office and follow up on what I need to do (if anything) to apply for grants in the fall.
• Gotta start thinking about a summer job! (As much as I want to be lazy and make games all summer.)
• Get together an estimate for data recovery equipment (separate computer, hard drive dock, software, &c.)
• Hoping to have time this weekend to rough together some t-shirt designs for Threadless. (Maybe if one gets selected I won't have to get a summer job. *rubs hands together*)

I had a relaxing spring break, and this past weekend was super fun! Gavin and I went down to the nearest major town and spent the birthday monies we'd been hoarding since February.

I bought:

• My very first pair of Doc Martens, and they are love! (These. But mine have brown, heavy satin ribbon laces. So pretty!)
• Dropped $18 on a decent mascara that doesn't hurt my eyes. VICTORY. I usually feel awkward about purchasing makeup, but a good mascara was something I really wanted. I think my lashes are nice, but the tips are infuriatingly blond/invisible! Finding a chemically light mascara that was defining and not like putting glue on my eyes was difficult.
• Yoshitaka Amano's Deva Zan! He's one of my favorite artists.
• Adorable clearance earrings! Including: hot pink dangly skeletons and pastel-rainbow lightning bolts. Yesssss.
• Emerald green jeans for $4!

All in all, a fine haul.

Today, I just transferred some money out of my savings to get my genome sequenced! They send you a kit that you basically just spit in, and then you get this fabulous report with an incredible amount of ancestry and health information. I am fascinated by genetics, and I've always wondered about the fine details of what we know how to read in our DNA. So! I promise to share any bizarre facts that may occur!

In bad news, my aging, limping car is coming rapidly to its end. Alas! I've had it since 1999, so it is maybe not shocking. The front end frame is rusting through (my dad had to weld in some steel to keep the wheels from just falling off) from all the salt on winter roads up here, and now the brake line is shot (and maybe the brakes in general?). She's in the shop until tomorrow afternoon. Sadly, I didn't find out the brakes were gone until this morning before I left for school, so I had to miss class today and probably tomorrow since we don't own another car, and our only local friend up here isn't available right now. I'm really hoping the poor vehicle will hold out another year! By next spring, I'll be done with some repayments on other stuff so I can afford a new car payment (it's always something). Looking at one of those teeny Scion IQs!

In existential news, I think I'm really decided on what I'd like to do with my career after I'm done with school. There's a weird, yawning limbo after you lose a job you were in for almost a decade. I was really devoted it, so it left me feeling totally adrift. But now I'm absolutely sure I'd like to continue on in computer security, and I'd love to work for Google. To that end, I'm going to do my best to learn C++ and Python this year on my own time, and try to do some extracurricular work with digital forensics tools.  If I can, I'll start a little side business here for data recovery and security (getting rid of viruses and malware). Of course, it's just as likely Google won't hire me, so I'll be looking other places, too! As long as they aren't Minnesota. :P