The Worst

Apr. 9th, 2013 04:51 pm
hat_of_nikitich: (Default)
That's me! It's been so busy, and when I have downtime I totally forget to post. But never mind that, let's talk STUFF.

The Good:

  • I turned in my final for our SQL and PHP Programming class! That's been what most of my time has been devoted to the last few weeks. It came out well, and I learned a fuckton of stuff about MySQL, which no longer seems intimidating!
  • It looks like I'm aimed right at another 4.0 GPA this year, just one class and a certification test left. I know it doesn't mean much in the long run, but I'm irrationally proud of myself for doing so well in college after so many years out of it.
  • I'm feeling really healthy and well, even if I do keep forgetting to take my meds right away in the morning. (Boo!)
  • The one other girl in my classes is dating one of the boys, and it is the cutest gosh darn thing.
  • Purchased some sale yarn a little while back, and I've been knitting all kinds of swatches trying to find a pattern it looks good with. I was having zero luck, until I found this awesome shawl pattern a few days ago. EXCITING SHAWLS.
The Bad:
  • Gavin is a worried about his job security. Someone at work let slip that things aren't going very well, financially, and his anxiety is almost all tied to money, so it's been very stressful for him. I try to help him with being present and acknowledging feelings without letting them be intrusive, but I also know what hard work that is. It's frustrating to not be able to offer much more than support and love, sometimes.
  • Our car is rusting to biiiits. The front end is pulling to the right now, so the wheel's about ready to quit. We really, really need to finance a new car, which is never really very fun.
To Do:
  • I have got to remember to call the employment office and follow up on what I need to do (if anything) to apply for grants in the fall.
  • Gotta start thinking about a summer job! (As much as I want to be lazy and make games all summer.)
  • Get together an estimate for data recovery equipment (separate computer, hard drive dock, software, &c.)
  • Hoping to have time this weekend to rough together some t-shirt designs for Threadless. (Maybe if one gets selected I won't have to get a summer job. *rubs hands together*)

Late!

Mar. 27th, 2013 04:27 pm
hat_of_nikitich: (it's a goddamn secret)
I forgot all about posting, because I have been doing things! One of my medication adjustments was for an auto-immune disease in my thyroid, and now that it's back on track it is like THE WORLD IS SUNSHINE. Some of this is other meds helping alleviate my anxiety, but with my thyroid stabilized I have energy, interest, and focus again. Holy buckets!

So! I started learning Python -- another programming language -- and I am slooowly putting together a tiny roguelike with it. It is oodles of fun. Once I get the game done, I'll probably make a graphical tile set for it, because I love spriting, and pixels and things.

School's back in full swing. Right after spring break, my class spent a week in Electrical Maintenance's classes, learning a little bit about electricity, as it applies to monkeying with computers. It was dull, to be honest, but I think it's because so much of it was already familiar. This week, we're back in our usual classes, and hip deep in MySQL and PHP. Databases are fascinating -- a weird thing to say.

Speaking of: my professor (we take all our classes from one guy our first year, and then another guy next door for the second year) may have gotten me a logo design job. And another student wants a business card redesign! ...I really need to get a design portfolio online, again.

I got a smartphone! Our cellphone company was doing free upgrades, and I finally just got a family plan for Gavin and I. That made unlimited data only $10/mo more. So yay! I super wanted to get a smartphone if ONLY for access to GPS and the Internet when we take roadtrips. (But also, gaaaames, textiiiing).

ALSO, I received highly exciting family news! I can't share it yet, but let's just say this only child is hyped to the max.

\o/

Mar. 18th, 2013 03:35 pm
hat_of_nikitich: (Default)
I had a relaxing spring break, and this past weekend was super fun! Gavin and I went down to the nearest major town and spent the birthday monies we'd been hoarding since February.

I bought:
  • My very first pair of Doc Martens, and they are love! (These. But mine have brown, heavy satin ribbon laces. So pretty!)
  • Dropped $18 on a decent mascara that doesn't hurt my eyes. VICTORY. I usually feel awkward about purchasing makeup, but a good mascara was something I really wanted. I think my lashes are nice, but the tips are infuriatingly blond/invisible! Finding a chemically light mascara that was defining and not like putting glue on my eyes was difficult.
  • Yoshitaka Amano's Deva Zan! He's one of my favorite artists.
  • Adorable clearance earrings! Including: hot pink dangly skeletons and pastel-rainbow lightning bolts. Yesssss.
  • Emerald green jeans for $4!
All in all, a fine haul.

Today, I just transferred some money out of my savings to get my genome sequenced! They send you a kit that you basically just spit in, and then you get this fabulous report with an incredible amount of ancestry and health information. I am fascinated by genetics, and I've always wondered about the fine details of what we know how to read in our DNA. So! I promise to share any bizarre facts that may occur!

In bad news, my aging, limping car is coming rapidly to its end. Alas! I've had it since 1999, so it is maybe not shocking. The front end frame is rusting through (my dad had to weld in some steel to keep the wheels from just falling off) from all the salt on winter roads up here, and now the brake line is shot (and maybe the brakes in general?). She's in the shop until tomorrow afternoon. Sadly, I didn't find out the brakes were gone until this morning before I left for school, so I had to miss class today and probably tomorrow since we don't own another car, and our only local friend up here isn't available right now. I'm really hoping the poor vehicle will hold out another year! By next spring, I'll be done with some repayments on other stuff so I can afford a new car payment (it's always something). Looking at one of those teeny Scion IQs!

In existential news, I think I'm really decided on what I'd like to do with my career after I'm done with school. There's a weird, yawning limbo after you lose a job you were in for almost a decade. I was really devoted it, so it left me feeling totally adrift. But now I'm absolutely sure I'd like to continue on in computer security, and I'd love to work for Google. To that end, I'm going to do my best to learn C++ and Python this year on my own time, and try to do some extracurricular work with digital forensics tools.  If I can, I'll start a little side business here for data recovery and security (getting rid of viruses and malware). Of course, it's just as likely Google won't hire me, so I'll be looking other places, too! As long as they aren't Minnesota. :P
hat_of_nikitich: (Default)
Omigosh, Internet access. SO. PRECIOUS. A week without felt like having a hand tied behind my back! It was funny, but my frustration was compounded by the fact I'd recently had a harddrive crash; I was missing most of my usual software/games/stuff, and no way to re-download them of course.

Thus, improvisations! Gavin and I bought a couple seasons of X-Files on DVD to watch in the evenings while tinkering with non-online hobbies, and I read a lot. It wasn't productive, per se, but it was actually pretty relaxing. Now I'm on spring break and back online, so hooray!

Things I did get done:
  • Totally read up on MySQL, which is easy and interesting and classes were a breeze for the week.
  • Read source material for Sean's tabletop game, and got a character going!
  • Took notes for Umbercaer.
I'm still adjusting to this medication change, however, which means I am antsy and jittery and chronically yawning (the weirdest and worst side effect). I pace around the house a lot, or ride the exercise bike, but it means my concentration is a crapshoot. I seem to recall that my first period of adjustment to this stuff took a few weeks, so I'll just have to ride it out. I'd rather be twitchy than catatonic with despair!

I am still brooding a lot, and dwelling on comparing myself to other people, holding myself to bizarre standards (the doc mentioned 'impostor syndrome' which I haven't read about in any detail yet) -- but I can already tell the difference the medication makes. Now I'm thinking about it, instead of just feeling worthless or miserable. I'm trying to pin down why, and discover what would help. I haven't gotten very far on that, yet, and I'm not sure where to start, but I really appreciate the separation the meds give me.

Weekend!

Mar. 2nd, 2013 12:07 pm
hat_of_nikitich: (Default)
I've been trying to stay semi-disconnected from the Internet on the weekends, just to see if it helps me focus a little better. When I have nothing else to do, I have this tendency to just wait for the Internet to entertain me, see. You know: constantly refresh favorite pages, tweet nonsense, &c. It lets me flit from thing to thing, and handily avoid buckling down to Do Actual Stuff. Now, my concentration's been jittery due to anxiety and a medication hiccup, but the problem is still mostly me. I'd like to sort out why I do what I do!

So! I'm still going to try and not fritter at the Internet on the weekends, then I'll write about what I did do versus what I'd hoped to do, see what worked and what didn't. If I did just flounder around online the whole time that's fine, who cares, I'll try and talk about why. It's about finding something that works, not punishing myself for what didn't work. Right? Hopefully! (I also reserve the right to give myself gold stars.)

Here's what I'd like to do this weekend:
  • Read the first bits of the MySQL (I keep typing that as sqrl) book for the new class on Monday, take notes.
  • Read about Linux Mint, maybe install it?
  • Get BerryBoot on the Raspberry Pi, and XMBC.
  • Roll up a character for Sean's tabletop game -- which involves reading the source material.
  • Storyboard, or just take some notes for a goblin comic!
  • Fart around the Minecraft server for longer than a half hour!
  • Try some more watercolor!
That is a ton of stuff for one weekend, now that I look at it. But, it leaves me with lots to pick from if the blahs hit!

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